ECSTASY Read online

  “Did you have fun, princess?” Alex asks me.

  I force myself to open my eyes. “I’m not a...” I trail off, my tongue leaden as Alex skims his hands up and down my sides. Then he spins me around abruptly.

  I’m looking at Eli. He’s so close to me, but he takes a small step back, like he’s taking us both in, me and Alex.

  Eli has always had such nice eyes.

  And his lips. They’re so damn full.

  I want them on my mouth.

  I try to tell him that but then Alex buries his mouth against my neck as he hooks his thumbs through the waistband of my bikini and pulls it down.

  “Step out of these for me, baby.”

  I wrap my arms around myself, shivering.

  Eli frowns, then closes the space between us. “She’s cold,” he says quietly as I do as Alex says.

  My gaze holds Eli’s green one and he comes closer. So close we’re nearly touching. My teeth are chattering as Alex unties my bikini at my neck, then my back, pushing it off my body. He grabs my wrists, uncrosses my arms from my chest and Eli’s eyes dip lower, to my pebbled nipples. I think about them against his shirt in the living room, before he grabbed that guy by the throat.

  “I-I’m f-freezing,” I say through my chattering teeth.

  Eli reaches out his hand. I suck in a breath as he brushes his thumb over one nipple, then the other. He palms my breast and squeezes, stepping closer.

  I almost close my eyes. I almost lean into his touch.

  He’s touching me.

  He’s touching me and it feels so good.

  “You won’t be cold soon.” And then he shoves me backward, into Alex’s arms.

  Alex laughs, his chest rumbling against my back as he yanks me up, onto the bed. He spins me around, positions my legs so I’m straddling him.

  And he’s completely naked, his hard cock against my bare pussy.

  “You still with us, princess?” he taunts me, curling my fingers around his cock.

  I look down, my mouth hanging open. I’ve seen it so many times, but I never get over the fact that it’s so...big. And perfect and straight and thick and...

  I want my mouth on it.

  And not just that. I think about Eli behind me, watching.

  “Yeah,” I manage to say out loud to Alex, “yes. I’m still with you.” I swallow, still staring down at Alex in my hand. “And I want you.” I bite my lip, my stomach fluttering. “And him.”

  Without waiting to see his reaction, I brace myself with one hand on Alex’s shoulder and try to ease back off his lap. But someone’s fingers in my hair jerks my head back, stopping me, and then Eli’s eyes are looking into mine, upside down.

  “Careful with her, Eli. You know I like this one,” Alex warns.

  A slow smile curves on Eli’s lips as he leans down close to me, and I gasp against his mouth as Alex brushes the head of his dick against my clit.

  “I’m not careful, princess,” Eli murmurs against my mouth, mocking Alex’s nickname for me. He pushes my head up and Alex’s fingers curl around my throat as he jerks me up and pulls me down on top of him.

  He lies on his back, then his hands are on my bare hips, his cock between us.

  “Fuck me, Zara.”

  I glance over my shoulder to find Eli pulling his shirt off. His olive skin is fucking gorgeous, his six-pack defined and that fucking V. Alex grabs me by the throat again, jerking my head around so I’m looking at him again.

  My brain feels fuzzy, everything around me spinning in slow motion.

  And fuck, didn’t Alex just try to drown me?

  Didn’t he flash my—

  “Now, Zara. I don’t want to wait all fucking night.”

  I shift my hips, stroke Alex’s cock and he groans, biting his lip as he stares at me. I position myself over him and slowly start to lower myself onto him, but Eli’s hands come to either side of my shoulder and he shoves me down just as I feel the bed dip.

  I wince, falling forward, my hands on Alex’s chest as his length nearly fucking impales me and it stings as I adjust to the size of him.

  Alex is always rough, and I guess it runs in the fucking house.

  But Alex surprises me as he frowns at Eli. “Fuck, easy, man.”

  Eli doesn’t say anything.

  As Alex helps me ride him, his cock hitting so far back I swear I can feel it in my stomach, Eli’s mouth comes to my ear. “You ready, baby girl?”

  Baby girl.

  No one has ever called me that before.

  When Alex isn’t calling me a “druggie whore”, he sticks with “princess”.

  But “baby girl” does things to me. It makes my stomach flip, my thighs clench.

  Eli’s hands go to my ass but then his fingers trail lower.

  Alex stiffens as Eli’s finger slides in beside his cock, and I wince as they both stretch me, the sensation new.

  I stop riding Alex, my thighs shaking as I hover over him.

  A strange thought occurs to me, like a cloud breezing through my hazy mind. I have scars on my thighs. And Alex has never noticed.

  Will Eli see them?

  Before I can think about it too much, the thought drifts away.

  My eyes flutter closed as Eli’s chest brushes against my back and he tries to push another finger inside of me. But Alex is so big and…

  This is happening too fast.

  This is not a good idea. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I meant to piss Alex off by coming here. Convince him that breaking up with me was a stupid idea. But I didn’t mean to fuck him and his roommate at the same time.

  But the Xannie and the alcohol and the Addie are making my head spin. My face feels numb, and as Eli works another finger into my pussy, already full but still dripping wet, Alex’s voice cuts through my high.

  “Stop, man. She’s nodding off.”

  Eli laughs, his breath against my neck. He doesn’t stop.

  “She’s fucking nodding off!” Alex says again, sounding panicked.

  “This was your idea,” Eli says quietly, still speaking against my skin. He feels so good. Everything is so tight and so full and so…

  His hand comes to my throat as he jerks me back against him. “And you’re still here, aren’t you, baby girl?” His voice is so low, I don’t even know if Alex heard him.

  I arch my neck, but my mouth feels so dry, I don’t know what to say or how to say it and—

  “Eli.” Alex’s voice is laced with warning.

  Eli’s fingers thrust harder inside of me and I wince with his movements. It doesn’t feel good anymore.

  “Stop.” Alex’s voice is a growl. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me off him, pulling me to his chest. Eli’s fingers seem to rip out of me, like he curled them up so it would hurt when Alex hauled me off them.

  Alex’s chest is warm and his arms lock around me as he sits up, cradling me to him. “This was a bad idea.”

  The bed shifts but I can’t open my eyes. They’re so fucking heavy.

  Alex’s grip tightens around me.

  “Why the sudden change of heart?” Eli asks softly, his words venomous. “You having flashbacks?” I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but I can’t really find it in me to care. My body feels so pleasant like this. Pleasant and warm against Alex and I don’t want to move.

  “I made a mistake,” Alex says. He sounds strangely nervous.

  Eli doesn’t say anything.

  Alex’s arms tighten around me so much it actually hurts. He shifts on the bed, removes one arm only long enough to pull the covers over me.

  “I’ll sleep with her. Go fuck Rihanna.”

  My stomach churns for some reason with those words but even still…I can’t move.

  “You just tried to drown her. Blackmailed her with Xanax to get her to fuck us, and now you don’t wanna go through with it?” Eli’s voice is still low, as it always is. Still clinical, like he’s just laying out all the facts with no attachment to the outcome.


  “You’re fucking around with Rihanna. Why do you care?”

  Eli is silent, then I hear someone pounding on the door. A high-pitched scream.

  Alex laughs, and it rumbles against my body. I don’t open my eyes. I’m drifting off into darkness and it feels good.

  But I guess someone opens the door and a girl is screaming. “What the fuck are you doing? You fucking asshole, what the fuck?!”

  “Get out, Rihanna. Don’t call me names,” Eli’s voice. Edging on impatience.

  “No, don’t you—”

  There’s another scream and something that sounds like a door slamming against a wall and footsteps coming close and Alex tenses with me still in his arms.

  “You fucking bitch!” That same high-pitched voice, closer now.

  “If you touch her, I swear to God, Rihanna, I’ll fucking drown you in my pool.” That’s Alex’s voice. His arms are tight around me, and he’s not yelling but he sounds so…mad.

  More footsteps. Some scuffling. A door slamming shut. More screaming, but it’s distant.

  I tremble in his arms, and it’s completely involuntary. I don’t even know why it’s happening.

  Alex holds me tighter. He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m so sorry.” His voice is a hoarse whisper.

  Is he really sorry?

  “I’m so sorry, I’m so…I’m sorry, Zara.”

  I hold him tighter, my arms around his neck.

  “It’s okay, princess.” He kisses the side of my face. “Go to sleep, yeah?”

  Yeah. Like I could stop myself.

  But his words echo in my head. “I’ll fucking drown you in my pool.”

  Alex already tried to drown me.

  He pulled down my top.

  He’s an asshole.

  I can’t even manage a nod to his words, but despite all the shit he did, I still think it back. Yeah.

  2

  Zara

  When I wake up, Alex is snoring softly beside me.

  It’s still dark outside, but I blink a few times, make out the time on the alarm clock beside the bed.

  It’s four in the morning.

  My head is pounding, my throat feels like sandpaper.

  What the fuck happened last night?

  My hand goes to my chest and I stifle down a scream as I realize I’m fucking naked. It’s not that I’ve never woken up naked beside Alex but we…

  Fuck.

  I can’t really see Alex in the dark, but when I slowly move away from him, I realize he’s naked, too.

  Did we have sex last night? Did we make up?

  I try to remember, but everything is so damn blurry. Not again.

  This shit has happened one too many times the past three years. I bite back a groan, slowly slide off the bed and plant my feet on the floor.

  My hair is damp, and I taste chlorine in my throat.

  The fucking pool.

  I feel something against my toes and squat down, grasping for it. It’s my…clothes. What I was wearing before I stripped down to my bikini in Alex’s room. Before we got into that fight and he tried to kick me out.

  I feel my hand out blindly, the room so damn dark, and find my tank to, too, and in the back pocket of my jeans is my phone.

  I use the flashlight on it to quickly get dressed.

  Big thanks to the MVP who brought over my shit.

  When I’m dressed, the jeans feeling very bizarre against my bare ass, I walk out the door, realizing with a jolt we’re in the guest bedroom. Alex is still snoring behind me as I pull the door to and stand out in the hall, listening.

  It’s silent in this house. So different from all the people and the noise and the music last night.

  Speaking of… what the hell happened last night?

  I blow out a breath, consider pulling my phone out of my pocket and going through all the missed notifications I saw back in that bedroom but decide against it. I don’t really want to know what bullshit I pulled after all those stimulants and all that alcohol.

  Alex fed me Xanax.

  I almost fucked him and Eli.

  Jesus. I’ve barely even spoken a string of words to Eli since I’ve known him.

  I need a glass of water.

  I use my flashlight to head toward the stairs at the opposite end of the hall, then put my phone back in my pocket, once again ignoring the notifications. I creep down the stairs, see people passed out in the living room, on the couch, the floor. One dude is slumped in a seated position at the bottom of the steps, right by the front door, his head at a very uncomfortable angle against his shoulder.

  Kylie drove me last night, but I can walk back to our apartment. It’s not that far.

  First, I need water because every step makes my head light up in pain.

  Various levels of snoring fill the living room as I walk down the hall, and I smell alcohol and something sour.

  Probably vomit.

  The kitchen is a wreck.

  There are tipped over bottles and plastic cups all over the island in the center of the room, more covering nearly every inch of the countertops. There’s a brown puddle on the floor in the dining room adjacent to the kitchen, and there’s someone sleeping on the table. Some dude on his stomach with his arms spread wide, like he’s cuddling the fucking table.

  Thankfully, no one is sleeping in the kitchen.

  My bare feet crunch on something as I head toward the stainless-steel fridge, desperate for water. I pause, looking down.

  Ritz crackers, and the empty box of them is strewn a few feet away. Damn. Someone was hungry.

  I keep walking toward the fridge, my head pounding with every step.

  But the pain doesn’t stop unwanted thoughts from whirring.

  I tried to make up with Alex. We fought. He tried to kick me out. I went downstairs and danced on the coffee table instead.

  Alex came over. He was drunk. He hardly ever gets drunk because when he does, he acts like a complete dick.

  He pulled down my top, someone tried to touch, me and Eli was there.

  Fuck. Alex flashed my tits.

  The thought is almost enough to make me run out of here, my stomach churning. If there’s a video and my mom fucking sees it, I am so screwed.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I glance out the window over the sink—also filled with cups and bowls and something that looks like ramen noodles sticking to the faucet—and catch sight of the serene in-ground pool, illuminated by lights flush with the concrete.

  The pool.

  My blood runs cold, my fingers around the handle of the fridge as my eyes remain fixed on the pool, thinking about what happened last night.

  Some of the lounge chairs are turned over, there are a few beach towels lying around the concrete.

  Alex almost drowned me in that pool.

  The calm surface seems to reflect the still-dark sky, but there are lights beneath the water and… What the fuck is that?

  I bring my hand to my mouth, dropping my hold on the door of the fridge.

  There’s no one around the edge of the pool but there’s…

  Oh my God.

  My limbs feel numb as I take a hesitant step toward the window.

  No.

  That’s not…

  I force myself to walk toward the sliding glass door for a better view. A different angle. A way to make this all make sense.

  My fingers press against the cool glass and my chest tightens as I rest my forehead against the door, blinking.

  Because I must still be drunk. I’m still fucked up. There’s no fucking way.

  I hear something move behind me.

  Before I can scream, a hand comes over my mouth and a voice whispers in my ear, “There’s a body in the pool, baby girl.”

  3

  Alex

  Having a corpse at the bottom of your pool really dampens the party mood, and having the cops in my face, again, really annoys the shit out of me. They’ve been on my ass since last year, and then again a few week
s ago after that fucking game that got me suspended. It’s not enough that they’ve tried to ruin my football career, my reputation—which wasn’t great to begin with—and made my father’s entire megachurch congregation pray for my soul on a weekly basis, now, they suspect me of murder.

  Fantastic.

  But regardless of what they think happened here, they’ve got no evidence to support their theory that someone drowned Rihanna Martinson. Besides, I know for a fact toxicology reports will show that her blood alcohol content will reveal she was a couple of milliliters away from being made of more vodka than blood.

  Still. It’s a fucking hassle, on top of all the shit I’ve got to deal with when it comes to Zara.

  My father already had a lawyer sent to the station where they brought me in for interrogation. I answered their stupid questions and walked out free in a matter of hours, which is more than I can say for last fall. That took a hell of a lot longer, and Eli’s dad had to come bail me out of that shit.

  I open the door of my black Jeep, parked behind the Falls Creek police station, and just as I slide in, my phone vibrates in my back pocket.

  I pull it out, roll my eyes but answer it, holding it up to my ear, resting my head against the seat.

  “What, Dad?”

  “I’d think you’d sound a little more grateful considering I just saved your ass—”

  Pastors shouldn’t say “ass”. Instead of telling him that, I interrupt him with, “I didn’t do it.” I’ve said that half a dozen times already this morning and it’s not even seven a.m.

  “I’m not saying you did, son, but we both know you’re going to be the prime suspect because it was your house—”

  “It’s Eli’s house.” I live in it, but Eli’s father, Eric, put it in Eli’s name.

  My dad sighs on the other end. “Eric called. Eli’s name is already cleared.”

  Of course his name is already cleared. Eli is the fucking golden boy at Caven University.

  It’s not like I want him to get arrested but damn. Everyone thinks he’s so damn smart and so damn responsible and it all rings in my ears, “Eli’s dad is a lawyer, “and “Eli wins championships,” and “Eli controls his temper and Eli has a bright future.”